Scared and a little Neurotic

Well, I am new to blogging but at this point I feel that this might just keep me from going crazy. I am very EARLY into this pregnancy and so far so good. What makes me so scared is that in September 2007 we lost our twin sons. Twin A failed to develop after 15 weeks. Twin B suffered from Omphalocele and as a result from the pull of the organs being outside his body, he would have needed a liver, lung and heart transplant in the first few weeks of life and would have had to live on a ventilator. We made the very difficult decision to end the pregnancy at 16/3.

With that pregnancy I TOLD EVERYONE. Anyone that would listen knew I was pregnant, the checkout lady at the grocery store, other moms in Boo's class,all the neighbors, Levi's boss and other co-workers, the landscaper...You name it, they knew! We had been trying to concieve for over 2 years and then Yahoo!! we were preggers. What could possibly go wrong. Big lesson learned: If something can go wrong....it will likely happen to me.

When we told people we were having twins the immediate question was ALWAYS...what fertility treatment were you using, I told them nothing....Our twins were identical. Just a fluke of nature that my egg split. We felt so blessed having twins. Boo was OVER the moon.

Now that we are pregnant again, we are keeping the news close to the vest. The only people that know are my mom, and 4 close friends. We have decided not to tell anyone, even Boo until we are 16 weeks. I know the average is 12 weeks but since the twins didn't have problems until close to 16 weeks, we thought that was best.

So, my reason for this blog. I need an outlet to share the good and possibly the not so good until I am able to shout from the rooftops WE ARE PREGNANT. I am not sure whom, if anyone will read this but for those who find this.....welcome